


My Senses Don't Ring True

by speccygeekgrrl



Series: MST3K Alternate Universes [4]
Category: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Genre: Forresters are fucked the fuck up, Gen, Kinga needs a hug, Max cares too much, Wrong number, hot mess au, total strangers AU, weird conversations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-14
Updated: 2017-06-14
Packaged: 2018-11-13 22:35:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11194848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/speccygeekgrrl/pseuds/speccygeekgrrl
Summary: Kinga, in crisis, reaches out. She doesn't get who she's trying to reach. But maybe she reaches someone better.





	My Senses Don't Ring True

**Author's Note:**

> Going through that AU masterlist, I found this on the "hot mess AU" sublist:
> 
> ‘i called the wrong number and started talking about my life and you only interrupted me after a few minutes of me revealing some pretty personal stuff and now you're invested in my life troubles’ au
> 
> Combine this with a weird spec I saw tossed around on an MST3K facebook group and this is what happens!

"She's doing it again," a woman's voice said as soon as Max answered his phone. His brow furrowed.

"Who is?"

"My grandmother, who else? I swear she doesn't even think of me as a real person. I'm not sure she thinks anyone is real except herself, honestly." The woman sighed heavily. Max tucked his phone between his ear and his shoulder and paused Netflix. He didn't know who she was, but she sounded like she needed to vent. "I mean, it's the same thing she always does, but it's still so exhausting, you know? Just because I'm used to it doesn't mean it's not tedious as fuck."

"What happened?"

"Oh, I was going through some boxes of stuff in her basement, you know she packed up everything my dad was working on after he went all astral, I was looking for something specific..." _Astral?_ Max mouthed silently. "Anyways I was looking for the artificial pet engineering stuff but I found some really bizarre shit that looked like it was about human cloning-- totally illegal, but my dad never cared about that-- and you know I'm not into genetics but something just twigged me really wrong about it so I hauled it upstairs."

"Uh-huh."

"I had some of it spread out on the kitchen table trying to get it in some sort of order, and it was just starting to take shape and I'll be honest it was starting to scare me. Then she came in to get more coffee and she _flipped out_ when she saw what I was looking at."

"Why?"

"That's the million dollar question, right? She swept all the files onto the floor and-- get this-- dropped a lighter right on the pile. Burned it all right there on the linoleum. I had to go outside to clear my head from the fumes."

" _Why_ , though?"

"I don't know for sure. I just have a suspicion. And I'm going to sound fucking crazy when I say this so don't judge me, okay?"

"Yeah, of course."

"I think I was cloned."

"What?"

"That's why I never knew my mom. I think I didn't have one. He told me she died in childbirth but I don't think she ever existed."

"But how?"

"It's just the kind of narcissistic playing god that runs in my family, isn't it? Grandma always said having my father was a mistake. But he never called me a mistake. I wasn't a mistake, I was made very deliberately."

"From who?"

"From him, I bet. Two X chromosomes from different generative cells. It would explain some of my weird health shit, too. Like why am I colorblind? Women are almost never colorblind. It's because all his X chromosomes were flawed there. Would have been compensated for if I had a different X in there."

"That's... that's crazy," Max said.

"I told you you'd say that! It is crazy, right? It's fucking nuts. And it's just the sort of thing my fucked up family excels at." She laughed bitterly. "I can't escape it. Even if I wanted to, but the fucked up thing is that I don't. I don't want to run away from it, I want to understand it."

"That makes sense, though," he said. "Everyone wants to understand where they came from."

"Right? That's what I'm saying. I knew that anything I found in that basement was going to be fucked. I just didn't realize it would be about _me_." She paused. "Are you okay? Your voice sounds rough."

"Um..." Max pulled the phone away from his ear. He hadn't even looked at the number when he answered it, but it was definitely not anyone he knew. "Look, I'm sorry, you have the wrong number, but... who are you?"

" _What_?" she squawked. He heard a clatter and a distant curse-- she'd dropped her phone-- and another curse as she picked it back up. "Oh, shit. I'm sorry. That's-- that was really personal, you-- why didn't you stop me?"

"You sounded like you needed to get it off your chest," he said simply. "You're right. It is fucked up. But even if it's true, it doesn't change who you are, does it?"

"N-no, I guess not, but... who are you?"

"I asked you first."

"Kinga. I'm Kinga. Who are you?"

"I'm Max. Hi, Kinga. You sound really intense. Are you going to be okay?"

"I don't know," she said a little hysterically. "I don't know what to do with any of this. It's honestly freaking me out."

"Where are you?"

"Uh, just outside of Greenbury." 

"Oh, that's pretty close. You know the Denny's off Route 11?"

"Yeah..."

"You want to get pancakes and talk about it?"

"...why do you even care?"

"I don't know, I'm not busy, you sound interesting, I don't like leaving people in distress... pick a reason."

"I don't know you. You could be dangerous."

"Pretty sure you'll realize I'm not as soon as you see me," he said dryly. "You can say no. I won't be offended. But I'm willing to listen and I'm not judgmental."

"I'm pretty sure no one I know would be willing to make that offer," she said quietly. "I should have known it was a wrong number just because you didn't laugh at me."

"I'm sorry. That's awful." 

"Do you really mean it?"

"What, about the pancakes? Yeah. My treat, even. You sound like you need something good to happen. Worst case scenario, you walk in, think I look like a creep, and turn right back around."

"Worst case scenario is that I don't and you end up stalking me," she said flatly.

"I mean, it doesn't matter what I say, you have no reason to believe me one way or another. But I won't do that. Look, I'm going to get pancakes just because I want them. If you show up, great. If you don't, I still get pancakes. No pressure."

"...I'm about fifteen minutes away from there," she said, and he smiled.

"I'll beat you there. You can scope me out and see if I set off any alarm bells."

"What do you look like?"

"I'm short and fat and wearing a Yoda t-shirt," he said with a laugh. "I look like a nerd. I am a nerd."

"All right, nerdy Max. I'll see you there." She hung up, and he pulled his phone away from his ear, staring down at the screen for a moment.

...no. He wasn't going to save her number. Not until she'd decided he was okay. Hopefully she would. He got up and turned off his TV, glad to abandon binge-watching in favor of something actually novel and interesting. Whoever this Kinga turned out to be, he was absolutely sure that she was interesting.


End file.
